Category: Sex Tips

Is interracial sex better than sex with someone within your own race?

interracial sex

The other day, I google searched interracial sex… all I got was a massive array of porn sites (what was I expecting anyway?). Well, I was hoping to get some insights on the above topic.

Have you ever had sex with someone outside your race? Would you be interested in having sex with someone of another race? Is interracial sex a taboo to you? This is a very controversial topic. “Why the hell would someone prefer to have interracial sex?᾿ most people may ask.

The truth of the matter is that the US is a culture obsessed with interracial dating and interracial sex, in particular, – both positively and negatively. Going by the history of the slave era white people spoke with repulsion about interracial sex – even though many white men were constantly having sex with black women. In this “colorblind era᾿, people are still obsessed with interracial sex.

According to a poll done on the blog, majority (67%) of the people that participated in the poll said interracial sex is better than sex with someone within their own race and 15% said it wasn’t better. The rest either never had interracial sex or same race sex.

Adult sex dating among interracial singles is much in practice especially among liberal communities and long-term relationships or matrimony is quiet popular. With the internet being a general platform that brings all types of people, cultures and societies together, we need not emphasize the kind of catalyst it is for those interested in interracial dating and sex… it is a well-known fact.

Most people may decide to try out interracial sex just for the kick of it or out of curiosity. This has brought about statements like “once you go black you never go back᾿ among many others. Given the sexualization and stereotypes surrounding interracial sex, we find most people… especially in their teenage and college life engaging in interracial sex just to prove and disprove such statements.

Most people may not publicly say “interracial sex is: bizarre, disgusting, exciting, adventurous, morally repugnant,᾿ and so on. But when people get behind closed doors with their family and friends comments like “That black dude must have really been packing some heat below the belt. Why else would those white women be interested in black men᾿ or “Only white women with no self esteem will get with a guy like that.᾿ When they go online to search for interracial porn, they are thinking it… and don’t get me started people expressing their thoughts with by leaving anonymous comments on blogs.

So what is wrong with enjoying sex with a person of other race?

For some reason, people think interracial sex is exotic and daring… especially when it involves Black men and white women and Asian women and white men. It’s almost like people believe that race is correlated with penis size and a person’s level of sexual desire. But are people who engage in interracial sex are deviant, rebellious, daring, gross, odd, oversexed, and ugly as most people believe?

If you’ve had interracial sex already, how good or bad were the encounters? Is it possible that they had everything to do with the guys’ or ladies’ performances, and not the person’s races?

Is “Swallowing” Bad For Your Health?

Every Friday, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who wanted to know the following:

“Is the ingestion of a man’s ejaculate harmful?”

Good question! There are a lot of misconceptions out there about semen and its effects on health, so let’s take a few moments to separate fact from fiction.

First, if you perform oral sex on a man who has an STI (e.g., chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV), you run the risk of contracting his infection. And it doesn’t really matter whether you swallow his semen or spit it out—the risk comes from having ejaculate in your mouth. So, if you know your partner has an infection or you aren’t sure of his status, it would be advisable to use a condom to prevent contact with his semen, thereby lowering your own infection risk.

Assuming he is uninfected, there are very few risks associated with having his ejaculate in your mouth or swallowing it. For starters, it’s not going to make you fat. I’ve had some people ask whether semen is loaded with calories, and the answer is no. In fact, most estimates I’ve seen put the number of calories in a “serving” of semen somewhere between 1 and 5.

Also, women don’t need to worry about pregnancy from swallowing semen because sperm deposited in your digestive tract won’t be able to make it into your reproductive tract…unless you get stabbed in the stomach after performing oral sex (which is pretty unlikely). I don’t want to turn this into a sideshow, but I did read one case a few years ago of an African girl who was performing oral sex on her boyfriend when her ex walked in on them [1]. Apparently a knife fight ensued and she was stabbed in the stomach. Soon after, she discovered that she was pregnant. After visiting a doctor, the mode of conception was attributed to her stabbing. Of course, you’re probably wondering, “But isn’t this pregnancy more likely the result of vaginal intercourse?” It turns out that wouldn’t be possible in this case because this girl did not have a vagina. She had a genetic condition (Mullerian agenesis) that prevented its development, leaving just a small dimple in the spot where the vagina normally appears. In light of this, the post-oral sex stomach wound seemed to provide the most plausible means of sperm reaching her reproductive tract. I know this story seems hard to believe, and I have my doubts about a pregnancy happening this way, but it was published as a case report in a medical journal.

Aside from potential STI transmission and random stomach stabbings, the only other risk I’m aware of with regard to swallowing ejaculate would be if the receptive partner has a semen allergy. For more on semen allergies.

Related to this, I have also heard of some cases of “semen ingested induced diarrhea,” in which swallowing semen leads to some serious gastrointestinal distress (perhaps as a result of a fructose intolerance, given that fructose is one of the primary components of semen); however, this is thought to be quite rare.

Are there any benefits of swallowing semen? Believe it or not, I read one study a few years back that found a correlation between swallowing semen and risk of preeclampsia (in case you’re unfamiliar, preeclampsia is a condition that tends to occur late in a pregnancy in which a women develops very high blood pressure—if left untreated, this is potentially fatal to both the mother and the fetus). What the researchers found was that women who swallowed more semen through oral sex tended to have a lower risk of developing preeclampsia. Why? The basic idea is that a fetus is exposing its mother to foreign antigens because half of its genetic material is provided by the father. To the extent that a woman is exposed to more of these antigens prior to pregnancy, she may develop a tolerance to them, thereby reducing her risk of having an immune reaction in response to the fetus.

That said, research on the potential benefits of swallowing semen isn’t conclusive enough to say that everyone should be doing it; however, it is pretty clear that as long as the male partner is uninfected and the receptive partner is not allergic to his semen, it is unlikely that swallowing semen will have any negative effects on one’s health.

How to Play With Breasts

Breasts can be pleasurable to play with, for both the giver and the recipient alike. Some women can even have orgasms from breast play alone. Others need breast play in combination with clitoral or vaginal stimulation.

Here’s your field guide to the breast.

Not Everyone Loves Breast Play
Like any other sexual act, consent is important when it comes to breast play. Keep in mind that some people may not want you to play with their breasts. For some people, it’s a matter of personal preference; for others, it’s a gender identity issue. Trans and genderqueer folks may not want their breasts touched.

You can directly ask your partner what they feel comfortable with, or you can try slowly tracing your hand across their shoulders and collarbone area. If they tense up or move your hand away, move on to other parts of the body.

Be Sensitive to Timing
Be aware that breast sensitivity changes throughout the month. There will probably be certain points in her cycle where she’s much more sensitive than usual. There may even be times when she’s too sensitive for any sort of breast play. Don’t be surprised if she needs different things from you.

Breasts also change a lot after a woman has given birth and while she’s breastfeeding. She may not want any breast contact for a while, or she may need you to be much more gentle than usual.

No Honking, Please
We’re all unique when it comes to how we like our bodies to be touched, but there are few sexual acts more universally despised than the breast honk. I have never met a woman who enjoyed having her breasts squeezed this way (especially not as sexual initiation). Please don’t treat your partner’s breasts like old-fashioned horns.

The same goes with kneading. It just doesn’t feel good for most women. Remember Jon Hamm’s breast play move on Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids? If you haven’t seen it, it’s the perfect example of lackluster kneading. Don’t pull that move.

In general, breast sensitivity comes from the skin, not from the fat of the breast itself. So honking, kneading, and squeezing don’t typically feel as great as stroking and kissing. These moves also neglect the nipple, which tends to be the most sensitive part of the breast (more on this later).

Work with Clothing
You don’t need to be in a rush to unclothe your partner’s breasts. Breast play can feel pleasurable even through clothing, and it can also be a nice way to tease her. Rub her breasts over her shirt. To evoke a sense of teenage nostalgia, put your hands up her shirt and play with her breasts over her bra. Once you get her shirt off, touch the parts of her breasts that the bra doesn’t cover, gliding your fingertips along the top edge of her bra.

Take Your Time
Even once you’ve gotten her clothes off, you can still take your time teasing her. Spend some time tracing her collarbone with your finger, then kissing along it. Touch and kiss along the sides of the breasts, without going straight for the nipple right away.

Pay Attention to the Underboob and Sideboob
Most people tend to squeeze the entire boob, or focus on just the nipple. That’s a shame, because the underboob and sideboob can both be exquisitely sensitive. The areas I’m talking about are where her breast meets her ribcage. As the names imply, the underboob is the lower part of the breast, and the side boob is the outer edge (the side near her armpit).

This area tends to respond best to delicate touch. Very gently trace a fingertip along this sensitive curve. Start at the outer edge and slowly work your way around to the middle of her chest. You can also do this with your tongue, or with light kisses.

Nipples are Unique
Nipples are sort of like clitorises: some women can hardly stand direct contact, while other women need very firm pressure. As with the clitoris, it’s best to err on the side of being too gentle, then work your way up to more pressure. Start off by lightly stroking her nipple and circling the areola (the flat section around the pointy nipple). If your partner pushes her body towards you or makes a lot of noise, try gradually increasing pressure. Or just ask her, “Do you want more?”

If she wants more intensity, try gently pinching her nipples between your thumb and forefinger. Slowly increase the pressure, and ask her to tell you when it’s too much. Or you can try pulling on her nipples. Cup her breast in your hand, and pull on her nipple with your thumb and forefinger, pulling the breast further away from her ribcage. You can also gently twist her nipples, but be careful with this move, as it’s pretty intense.

Get Your Mouth Involved
Get your lips, tongue, and teeth involved as well as your hands. You can lick, suck, and nibble on her breasts. Try licking the curve from sideboob to underboob, or sucking or nibbling on her nipples. You can also get some temperature play involved, by licking her breast then lightly blowing onto the area.

If she likes a lot of pressure, try sucking and biting on her nipples. Again, start off gentle, and gradually increase the pressure until you find what she likes.

Bring in the Toys
You can use vibrators or feather ticklers to create new sensations on her breasts. Even running a silk tie or scarf over her breasts can feel great. If she likes more intense nipple play, you can buy nipple clamps or suckers. You can also try blindfolding her, and touching her breasts with different toys or materials. Not knowing what’s coming can be a wildly intense experience. Or try using use lube or massage oil to help your hands really slide around on her breasts.

Ask Her to Touch Them
Another way you can learn what she likes is to ask her to touch her own breasts. This can be especially hot while you’re in the middle of another activity, like intercourse or fingering her. Watch the specific ways she touches herself, and try to get a sense of how much pressure she uses.

Step by step instructions to FILM YOUR OWN SEX TAPE

FILM YOUR OWN SEX TAPE

The specialists at Make Love Not Porn guarantee it’ll prompt better, more sweltering sex. So we approached them for tips.

On the off chance that you’ve found out about sex tapes as of late, odds are the words “sex tape” were combined with “spilled” and “VIP.” We get it: Between those consistent embarrassments and a not exactly sealed shut comprehension of how the cloud functions, recording yourself having intercourse sounds like an awful thought, best case scenario and a real existence ruiner even under the least favorable conditions.

The people at Make Love Not Porn are endeavoring to change that discernment. Established by Cindy Gallop in 2012, the site enables you to share and watch #realworldsex — that is, personal sex tapes presented by individuals who aren’t pornography performing artists. Charging itself as “professional sex, genius pornography, and master knowing the distinction,” MLNP is a progressive network endeavoring to advance better sex for everybody. Also, first off, they guarantee that recording yourself engaging in sexual relations prompts an a lot more blazing sexual coexistence.

So who better to give us a few hints for taping an incredible sex tape than Sarah Beall, Madame Curator for MLNP? Beside having the best occupation title we’ve at any point known about, Beall is in charge of verifying each and every #realworldsex video accommodation on MLNP — which implies she’s seen a mess of exposed individuals doing it all over. She can likewise bear witness to how and why shooting yourself can prompt better sex. “It encourages correspondence,” Beall says. “It opens individuals up to discussing their wants and things that possibly they’ve been reasoning about attempting yet perhaps haven’t had the nerve to raise. We’ve had individuals who have gone and shot a video, watched it back and after that shot another immediately, on the grounds that they got so turned on.”

In case you’re okay try it an attempt, we’ve taken advantage of her insight and that of some MLNP stars, to make you go.

  1. Speak with your accomplice already, and don’t film anything without assent. This shouldn’t should be said yet: don’t film yourself engaging in sexual relations with somebody on the off chance that they don’t think about it. It’s truly messed up and exceptionally unlawful. On the off chance that you and your accomplice have talked it through, and you’re both amusement, at that point choose what you’ll do subsequent to shooting. Is it accurate to say that you are going to watch the tape once then erase it, transfer it to MLNP, or welcome every one of your companions over for wine and cheddar and a screening? (On the off chance that it’s the last mentioned, your companions sound fun.) Make beyond any doubt you’ve talked this all through heretofore — and if both of you need to erase it whenever, it’s done, no inquiries inquired.
  2. Morning sex or evening delight are ideal. “Nothing beats characteristic light,” say prepared MLNP stars LoveandLasagna. “Furthermore, endeavor to abstain from chronicle towards the wellspring of lightning.”
  3. Ensure the camera’s on. “My camera likes to turn itself off if no one is playing with it…I missed various climaxes and cool shots hence!” mourns MLNP star Corkle. Try not to give this a chance to transpire.
  4. Get prepared. It’s a bit much, however in case you’re a gearhead and need to take your tape to the following dimension, Beall prescribes an extra large GorrillaPod, an all inclusive glif, a pocket spotlight, a portable blast mic, and a focal point cut for wide-edge shots.
  5. Film around your sexual coexistence. Would you be able to think about a more awful buzzkill than being half-bare with your face planted in the middle of your accomplice’s legs, at that point all of a sudden hopping up to get the tripod set up? “Sex in reality leaves a certifiable setting, so we request that individuals shoot a tad prior and then afterward,” says Beall. Having the camera running before you begin to get it on to enable you to unwind and get settled. “When you’re turning a camera on, it shouldn’t generally be not the same as what you do in your regular day to day existences,” she includes.
  6. Don’t simply go for close-up genital shots. While that is just fine in pornography, Beall prescribes straying far from pornography tropes like that in your own sex tape. “Force the camera back and speak to the entire involvement in the majority of its marvelous, genuine brilliance,” she says. It’s additionally not unreasonably simple to catch that P-in-V business when you’re DIYing it.
  7. It’s simply sex — so unwind and have a decent time. “At first you’ll think the camera anticipates something of you, yet you’ll get over that as you’re dissolving everywhere on one another,” state MLNP stars Colin/Gray. Bodies are simply bodies, man. LoveandLasagna include, “Simply keep judgment and dread out of your head, having intercourse is excellent. Have a fabulous time and given the imagination a chance to stream.”

Top 10 Cold Weather Sex Positions

Cold Weather Sex

WINTER SEX POSITIONS
Leave your fleecy pyjamas and set the hot tea aside for a wild night of passion. Brave the cold this winter with these scorching 10 winter sex positions, guaranteed to raise you and your partner’s temperature and hit that elusive g spot.

  1. Tempting Butterfly
    Give missionary a revamp. Lie back on a bed or table, while your partner steps in between your feet and raises your hips with their hands before entering you. For added comfort and depth, add pillows underneath your lower back for a thrilling sensation. This position has the perfect blend of deep penetration and cosiness to help turn up the heat between you and your partner.
  2. Freezing Mountain
    Looking for something less strenuous? This position is perfect for you. Build your mountain with a stack of pillows and lean forward over it. Your partner will kneel behind you with their legs on the outside of yours as they penetrate you from behind. Feel the ultimate sensation with Durex’s Play Feel lube and experience an intense sensual experience.
  3. Lusty Fan
    For the adventurous couple, let this position spice up your lives in more ways than one. Stand in front of your partner and lean over and rest your arms on the edge of a chair or bed. Bend your knees as your partner enters you from behind and use the support of the chair or bed to hold you up. Increase the level of your pleasure, by using a vibrator for added stimulation to your clitoris.
  4. Wintry Slide
    Want to increase your level of intimacy? This position is great for bringing you the ultimate closeness. Your partner should lay back, while you lay on top of them with your legs together. While they penetrate you, begin to rub up and down their body. Not only is this position pretty easy to master, but you’ll be surprised at how much tighter you’ll feel.
  5. Splitting Bamboo
    You and your partner should both lie in a missionary position, however your partner’s thighs should be straddled over yours. While they enter you, your partner will elevate one of your legs onto their shoulders as they thrust deeper. Your hands should be free to touch and tease them as you please. For more pleasure, add a penis ring and experience sensations that are sure to spark more fun and excitement to your evening.
  6. The Peg
    Have your partner lay on their side, while you lay next to them with your legs facing their head. Now bend your legs at the knees and sandwich their legs. As your partner penetrates you using their elbows to support their body, enjoy the opportunity to further increase your pleasure by caressing your breasts and lower back with your partners hands.
  7. The Steamy Pinball
    Get into a partial bridge position with your weight resting on your shoulders. Have your partner stand in front of you and enter you from the kneeling position. This position allows your partner easy access to stimulate your clitoris while massaging your inner thighs. For added bonus, throw one leg up against his shoulder for deeper penetration and enjoy the unlimited sensations.
  8. Cosy Room
    Your partner should be sat at the edge of the bed or on a sturdy chair with their legs spread slightly apart. You should sit on top of them facing away with your legs closely together. Let your partner use their arms to help regulate the pace and intensity of their thrusts as you achieve a more intense orgasm.
  9. The Balancing Act
    Unleash your passion and ignite the sparks. Have your partner lay on their back with their legs spread apart. Sit between their thighs as they grip your hips to guide you onto them. In this position, your partner sets the rhythm as your hands are free to roam over your breasts or their chest for the ultimate sensation.
  10. Frosty Seashell
    Lay back with your legs raised straight in the air and lift your legs towards your head. Have your partner enter you from the missionary position, as you hold onto their back for support. To stimulate your clitoris, have your partner ‘ride high’ by rubbing their pubic bone against yours. For direct stimulation to your G-spot, let them rub their pubic bone lower down for a pleasurable feeling.

Armed with these creative sex positions, you and your partner can be sure of an exciting night under the covers and in the colder weather, there’ll be plenty to keep you warm too.

How To Touch A Woman & Finger Her Vagina, In 8 Beginner Steps

How To Touch A Woman & Finger Her Vagina

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how to touch and finger a woman.

Q: I just started dating women, and I’m not super experienced with it. Do you have a general primer on how to give a handjob to a woman? One problem I have is that I’m not totally sure what I like on myself, so I have a hard time knowing what to do to another woman.

A: Thanks for your question! I think a lot of people underestimate how pleasurable handjobs can be, which is a real shame. Before we get into technique, I want to encourage you to do some exploration on your own first. You have a whole world of exploration at your fingertips! Take the time to get to know your body and what it likes. Not sure how? Check out our handy guide to female masturbation.

Now let’s jump right to eight crucial tips for anyone who wants to make a woman come with their hand.

  1. Prepare Your Tools For The Job

It’s really important to have clean, well-groomed hands when you’re touching a woman’s genitals. Keep your fingernails trimmed and filed, to avoid scratching her sensitive skin. Don’t cut your nails right before hooking up; they’ll still be too rough and sharp to touch her. You also want to make sure to wash your hands right before getting down to business, to protect her from getting an infection.

  1. Tease Her
    Spend plenty of time warming up before you move between her legs. Make out with her, kiss her neck, and nibble on her ears. Caress her butt, hips, and thighs. When you start to work your way down, rub her crotch through her pants using your palm, or grind against her with your thigh or pelvis. Even after her pants are off, keep teasing her. Leave her underwear on and trace a fingertip up and down her labia. You want her to be aching for skin-to-skin contact by the time you finally let her have it. For many women, teasing is the best part of the entire experience, so don’t skip over it in your haste to get to her clothes off!
  2. Know What You’re Touching
    Let’s go over a basic anatomy refresher of what your hands are going to come into contact with. You’re going to want to spend most of your attention on these four areas:

Her outer labia are the two lips that are covered in pubic hair. This is the main area you’ll be teasing through her clothes. There aren’t a ton of nerve endings in the outer labia, but you can rub them with your fingertips and even roll the skin between your thumb and forefinger. It’s also hot to pull her labia apart with your hands.
The inner labia are the set of lips that don’t have any pubic hair. The skin here is thinner and wet, so you’ll need to be a little more delicate than you are with the outer labia. Stroke the inner labia lightly with your fingertips.
The vaginal opening is further back, towards her anus. It’s where penetration occurs if you have intercourse, and it’s also where vaginal lubrication is secreted from. The majority of the nerve endings are located in the outer third of the vaginal canal, so tracing your finger around the opening or inserting a few fingers inside will feel great.
Her clitoris is hands-down the most sensitive part of her anatomy. The tiny little nub is packed with nerve endings. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Be very gentle with the clitoris until you get a sense of how much stimulation she likes.

  1. Use Lube
    As I mentioned above, the skin on a woman’s genitals is quite delicate. You don’t want your fingers pulling and tugging at her skin when you’re touching her. I highly recommend using artificial lube when you’re fingering her. You can use her natural fluids as lubricant (just dip your fingers into her vaginal opening), but they won’t last as long and she may feel embarrassed if she “dries out”. Artificial lube will not only decrease her discomfort (and any potential pain), but it will also increase her sensitivity and help your fingers move more deftly. I think silicone lubricant lasts longest and feels best against the skin.
  1. Experiment With Your Touch
    Every woman’s body responds differently, so you’ll want to play around with a few different ways of touching her to figure out what she likes best. There’s no need to go crazy with a ton of different techniques; just give her a few options! In general, women like one of three different approaches: clitoral stroking, penetration with your fingers, or both at the same time.

Try a couple clitoral strokes, like circling around her clitoris with one finger, gliding diagonally across the surface, rubbing up and down, or going side to side. Next, try using your fingers inside of her, starting with one, then moving up to two and three. Then try using one hand inside of her and the other on her clitoris. Ask her, “do you like it better when I do this or this?” Or see which approach makes her moan louder or breathe heavier.

  1. Hone In On Her Clitoris
    Once you’ve got her going, make sure you spend particular attention to her clitoris. Most women need repetitive, consistent clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Find your rhythm and don’t make any changes as she starts to near her climax.
  2. Let Her Tell You When To Stop

Women take an average of 20 minutes to reach orgasm, and a lot of women are sensitive about taking “too long.” One of the best things you can do as her partner is to tell her you’re going to keep touching her for as long as it feels pleasurable for her. Note that I said “for as long as it feels pleasurable” instead of “until she orgasms.” You don’t want to put pressure on her to reach orgasm. Focus instead on making her feel good.

  1. Enjoy Yourself
    Bringing another person an immense amount of pleasure with just your hands can be an incredibly fun and empowering experience. Enjoy the ride! Plus, the more fun you have, the more relaxed she’s going to feel, and the more pleasure she’ll allow herself to take in. It’s a win-win situation for everyone!

These Oral Sex Tips Will Blow Him Away In Bed

First step: Stop thinking of it as a job. Done correctly, oral sex can be satisfying for both of you.

GET YOUR 69 ON
If you’re both having a good time, you’ll both be more inclined to help the other person get off. Everybody wins!

USE A VIBRATOR
Yeah, you’ll be a little busy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pleasure yourself too. Try a hands-free vibrator, or hand over the remote to a model.

MAKE EYE CONTACT
It sounds intimidating, but the payoff is worth it. “Glance up at him just as you’re about to take his penis as far into your mouth as you can, then maintain eye contact for a few strokes or the entire time.” “This move is super intimate, as extended eye contact causes a release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both of you.”

FIND A COMFORTABLE POSITION
The more at ease you are, the more you’ll be able to focus on the, um, task at hand.

TEASE HIM
Foreplay can mean the difference between a standard oral sex experience and the best. time. ever. To up the excitement, start by licking, blowing, stroking, and kissing everything but his penis. “Wait until he’s flushed, panting, and practically — or really! — begging for it. It’ll be more than worth the wait,”.

TAKE CONTROL
When you’re in a healthy relationship, giving oral sex “can be one of the most empowering things you do because you’re taking charge of his pleasure.”

TRY FLAVORED LUBE
In addition to making the experience slightly more appealing for you.

GO SLOW
The slower you take things — especially at the start — the more you’ll make him squirm.

CHECK IN
Don’t stress if he doesn’t maintain a full-on erection throughout. Berkeley, California-based sexologist Amy Marsh says it’s totally normal for his erection to ebb and flow, and has nothing to do with how much fun he’s having. But it also doesn’t hurt to ask him to signal when he’s really enjoying himself. Says Marsh, “Being honest about how it feels will boost enjoyment on both sides.”

TAKE IT AN INCH AT A TIME
Despite what you may have seen in porn, you shouldn’t feel like you have to immediately jam his entire penis down your throat (or even at all). “Gagging takes you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when you’re both having fun,” says Marsh. You can achieve a similar sensation by gripping the base of his shaft, and moving your hand and mouth in a rhythmic motion. (Flavored lube will make this a lot easier.)

BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR BOUNDARIES
If you’re just not into a particular kind of oral sex (e.g. deep-throating), don’t be afraid to say so. “Be mindful of what your body is comfortable doing,” suggests sex therapist De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson. “And listen to your body as you’re giving.” Make it a point to talk through your boundaries before, during, and after sex.

USE YOUR LIPS
The so-called “lipstick technique” makes for some exciting sensations for him, and it’s a great way to break things up for yourself. Using your hand, run the head of his penis against the outline of your lips, taking the head in your mouth between outlines for added lubrication.

EXPLORE HIS FRENULUM
The frenulum, located on the underside of the penis, contains a bundle of nerves, says Marsh. Flick it with the tip of your tongue, or circle the head of the penis slowly, stopping each time you hit this pleasure spot.

FIND A RHYTHM
Licking his penis like you’re licking an ice cream cone is a guy-pleaser for a reason: Not only does a regular rhythm help get him even more worked up, but it gives you a chance to get into a groove. “Creating a steady rhythm is what builds and sustains excitement,” explains Marsh.

SHOW HIM YOU’RE HAVING FUN
Found your groove? Show him you’re into it. “Conveying your genuine enthusiasm is the biggest turn-on,” according to Michaels and Johnson. “The more pleasure you feel, and the more you can get across that you’re enjoying the act, the more pleasure your partner will receive in turn.”

INFLICT (A LITTLE BIT OF) PAIN
Now’s the time to keep it nice…or get a bit naughty. Pain tolerance increases with arousal, so you could try digging your fingernails into him, or tightening the grip of your mouth.

USE YOUR TEETH
Adding teeth to the action may sound like a cruel prank, but it can actually be super-sexy, especially when your partner trusts you. Gently glide the surface of your teeth along his shaft, trailing it with your tongue.

EXPLORE OTHER SENSITIVE SPOTS
There are a whole bunch of places on his body (besides the shaft of his penis!) that are supersensitive and can lead to a mind-blowing experience. For starters, work the area around his penis — his balls, obviously, the scrotum, and the perineum (that place between his balls and his butt). Feel free to let your hands roam over other sensitive areas around his body, too — like behind his knees, his butt, and his inner thighs.

TEASE HIS FORESKIN
If your man has a foreskin, use it to your advantage. “The foreskin is a great place to tease with oral sex,” says Marsh. As he gets more erect, use your tongue to gently push the foreskin back with your tongue and lips.

PLAY WITH TEMPERATURES
Sucking on an ice cube right before you put him in your mouth will give him a tingly thrill. Even taking a sip of cold water can create the same positive sensation. “Keeping a cup of warm tea near the bed also provides another way to play with temperature,” says Blaylock-Johnson.

TAKE A BREAK
If your mouth or jaw is feeling achy, simply take a few moments to kiss or caress his thighs, suggest Michaels and Johnson. “Continuing manual stimulation gives your jaw a rest, and it gives you a chance to check in with your partner and see how you’re both doing.”

HUM
Want to take the action up a notch? Hum while he’s inside your mouth. “The vibrations create an added sensation,” say Michaels and Johnson. “Holding a vibrator against your cheek can do the same thing.” Finally, don’t underestimate the power of a well-timed moan on your end. “Making erotic sounds isn’t only a turn on for him. It can also get you more excited,” explain Michaels and Johnson.

LET HIM TAKE IN THE VIEW
Besides your rapidly-rising body temperature, there’s very little that’s hot about hiding under the covers. Instead, show off a bit. Maybe even break out a sexy new lingerie set. Remember, you can attend to your pleasure by touching yourself with one hand, or have him do the same.

PUT YOUR BREASTS TO WORK
If you’re bent over him or looking up at him, that means your cleavage is also on display. You already know he loves them, so during oral try taking his penis in one hand and tracing it over and between your breasts. “It’s a different sensation that may be fun to try,” says Blaylock-Johnson. “Of course, depending on how large your breasts are, it may be fun to incorporate them.” We’ll bet any size breast is A-OK for your partner, though.

TOUCH HIS TESTICLES
Want to give him an experience he’ll never forget? Right before he’s about to climax, very lightly tug on his testicles, suggests Marsh. Not only is the skin here super-thin and packed with nerve endings, but just the fact that his most sensitive bits are in your hand will send him over the edge.

ASK HIM WHAT HE LIKES
No two penises (or guys) are alike — which means that every man will have different specific turn-ons. Don’t rely on tricks that you used on other penises in the past. Ask your partner what he likes while you’re trying new things — more pressure? More suction? There’s no better way to give him a mind-blowing O than to give him exactly what he likes.

PLAY WITH FOOD
Playing with your food is totally acceptable — as long as you’re in the bedroom, that is. Take the fun-factor of giving a blow job up a notch by bringing some whipped cream and warm chocolate syrup into the mix. He’ll love the sensation, and you’ll love the sweet treat.

TRY A NEW ANGLE
If you always tend to give blow jobs from the same position, don’t be afraid to try something new. “Switching up the angle will change the sensation for him,” Scalisi says. He’ll feel the crazy intensity, and you’ll beat BJ boredom: It’s a win-win.

TURN UP THE FAN
Bringing a fan into the equation isn’t just a great way to help you and your partner cool down as you’re steaming up the bedroom. When you position it so the breeze hits between his legs, he’ll get an instant jolt of pleasure, making the blow job that much more intense.

Finding Casual Sex Partners

Finding Casual Sex Partners

How To Find The Perfect Partner For Casual Sex

Looking for no-strings sex? Thousands of women looking for the same rompin’ relationship are just a click away.

Casual encounters with a stranger can sometimes be hard to find, despite the large number of willing singles guaranteed to be near you right at this very moment. Fortunately, the internet provides each and every one of us — regardless of looks or charm — with the opportunity to “sell” ourselves online to a suitable (or completely unsuitable, as the case may be) woman, man or “other.” Lots of women are signing up to hookup websites like Tinder and Adult Friend Finder, making it easier than ever to find casual sex partners who are on the same page as you. But don’t get complacent; you have some hard virtual challenges to overcome first.

Here are some tips on finding casual sex partners online.

step 1

Get an identity

To help you out, women want to find someone attractive, funny, intelligent, interesting, and fun to be around. First impressions last the longest; your profile is your sole 30 seconds at most, and the image is the first 20. When it comes to finding casual sex partners online, you won’t get any second chances, so make it good.

step 2

Get online

Some of the best dating sites host people from all over the world who are offering themselves up for all sorts of things, including casual sex. The key is to find someone who is looking for the same thing as you.

Start by signing yourself up on one or more of the various websites. You’ll need to complete a profile and fill out a couple questionnaires and/or quizzes to help establish your best matches.

We also recommend signing up to certain dating sites that are targeted toward your particular needs. If you want to find someone with life experience, you should check out mature dating sites. If diversity in your relationship is a priority, you should look into some of these best interracial dating sites.

To help you narrow down the best online “flirting” options, we compiled the top 10 hookup websites — but if you want to jump right in, check out Match.com or Plenty of Fish. Alternately, if you’re looking for a more wild online dating site, you may want to check out makeyournight.in

step 3

Get chatting

Essentially, the “if you knock on 10 doors, one will (theoretically) open” protocol works here. So, get knockin’. This means e-mailing or messaging women, expressing your interest in getting to know them better. Don’t expect to be welcomed by every woman you talk to, but don’t let that discourage you. Be charming, respectful, funny and keep some mystery about you — finding a casual sex partner is not about getting to know each other’s favorite food, color and pets’ names.

step 4

Go “dating”

When you feel the time is right, ask a woman you have built up a rapport with on a date in a public place. To make the very best first impression, make sure to think up some fun date ideas before you meet. These dates lay the groundwork for whether or not you eventually get laid.

Finding casual sex partners has never been so easy…

keep it casual
How you negotiate the online maze of relations all depends on what kind of person you are. It can be easy to get lost, so keep it simple, keep at it, and adapt when necessary. Don’t tell fibs, and make sure to always treat others how you would expect to be treated — with decency. No matter what either of your intentions are, finding casual sex partners online can be very rewarding, and you may just end up with more than you bargained for. Happy hunting!

10 Not-So-Obvious Things That Are Killing Your Sex Drive

10 Not-So-Obvious Things That Are Killing Your Sex Drive

Overview
You’re getting enough sleep, meditating to reduce stress and your hormonal levels checked out fine at the doctor. So why is your libido still missing in action? Exhaustion, stress and hormonal problems are among the most common and well-known causes of low libido, but they are far from the only culprits. Whether you or your partner are struggling in the desire department, gaining awareness of the underlying cause is important. Read on to learn about 10 less obvious causes worth considering.

  1. Performance Anxiety
    Worrying that sex is more about performing well in bed than pleasure and connection can fuel anxiety, which is a major libido killer. “Sexual desire, arousal and performance have a significantly large mental component that many individuals are not aware of,” says Natalie Stanish, an associate licensed marriage and family therapist in Chicago. Concern over ejaculating prematurely, she added, is a potential setup for performance anxiety and low sex drive. The same can happen if you or your partner experiences erectile dysfunction, takes a while to reach orgasm or tries to replicate sex as portrayed in porn.
  2. Too Much Exercise
    A healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise can enhance sexual function, including your arousal capabilities. Going overboard, however, can have the opposite effect. Hardcore training puts a lot of stress on the body, which can disrupt the endocrine system, according to recent research. As a result, chronic overexercise can lower testosterone levels, leading to less interest in sex. Overexercise can also inhibit libido by lowering estrogen levels and causing exhaustion, weakness and fatigue.
  3. Certain Medications
    Certain medications can bring on libido loss as a side effect. “Desiring and engaging in sexual activity requires a range of neurological structures to work properly,” said Gabriella I. Farkas, M.D., Ph.D., a psychiatrist in the greater New York City area, noting in particular the cerebral cortex, limbic system, pituitary gland, medulla oblongata, cerebellum and peripheral nervous system. “If even one of these is damaged or underperforming, libido may be substantially compromised.” In addition to disorders like depression, anxiety and Parkinson’s disease, medications known to interfere with these functions and sex drive include SSRIs like Prozac and Zoloft, Anafranil, which treats OCD, and antipsychotics. Antihistamines, opioids and some birth-control pills can also lower libido.
  4. An Underactive Thyroid
    Your thyroid gland produces hormones that regulate your metabolism, which affects not only digestion and calories burned, but also your moods, energy levels and sex drive. While an overactive thyroid gland can cause increased sex drive, an underactive thyroid — also known as hypothyroidism — can tank it. “With hypothyroidism, the metabolism is slowed down, which means the reproductive organs are slowed down as well,” says Kent Holdorf, M.D. “The adrenal glands that produce hormones that convert into the sex hormones are also slowed down. Both men and women can see decreased testosterone and estrogen levels.”
  5. Too Much Tech
    Scrolling through your smartphone before sleep can be fun, but it can also take up time that could have been spent more intimately with your partner. This kind of distraction seems to fuel less interest in sex. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in February 2017 showed that young millennials are more than twice as likely to refrain from sex in their early 20s as compared with the previous generation. Some experts believe the shift is partly due to plentiful screen time and less focus on in-person interaction. This makes sense, given that millennials also spend more time online than older adults.
  6. Family Responsibilities
    Speaking of distractions, family responsibilities and a relationship that’s gone on for some time can lower sex drive. “The stronger the relationship, the more a significant other is more than just a partner,” said psychiatrist Dr. Farkas. “This is especially true for married couples with children. It can be challenging to imagine having sex with one’s best friend or the parent of one’s child.” While eroticism and domesticity don’t need to oppose each other, it’s common. In “Mating in Captivity,” sexologist and author Esther Perel illustrates that sex often grows blasé because it thrives on novelty and surprise and safety and security equally. If you and your partner haven’t prioritized new shared experiences or individual passions to maintain a sense of mystique, sex can fall off your radar.
  7. Too Much Alcohol
    A few sips of wine may help set the mood, but going overboard on alcohol of any kind can interfere with sexual desire. Alcohol can make it more difficult to achieve or maintain an erection, reduce vaginal lubrication and make orgasms more difficult to experience or less intense. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in May of 2016 linked recreational drug use, including alcohol, with lower libido in infertile couples.
  8. Trust Issues
    Everyone lies on occasion, but in some cases deception or insecurities around trust go deeper than the occasional white lie, fueling significant intimacy problems. And these issues don’t have to involve infidelity. Past betrayals, lying about money and feeling hurt or rejected can all play a role. “The amount of trust, bonding and closeness a partner feels toward the other may subconsciously affect their libido levels,” said marriage and family therapist Natalie Stanish. “Sexual encounters are significantly emotional and vulnerable in an intimate relationship, and any type of rupture of trust or closeness to your partner may unknowingly affect your or their sexual desire or interest in being physically intimate.”
  9. Sleep Apnea
    More than 18 million people have sleep apnea, a sleep disorder that causes snoring and repeated, brief interruptions in breathing as you snooze. In addition to other complications, such as an increased risk for heart disease and memory problems, sleep apnea can make sex a lot less appealing. In fact, a study published in the European Respiratory Journal in 2014 showed that obstructive sleep apnea lowered sex drive in men and women. That’s likely because not only does sleep apnea, which causes poor sleep, drive down levels of testosterone, but the lack of quality sleep can leave partners less in tune with the others’ needs and moods and put a drain on the relationship.
  10. All Work and No Play
    Americans work more hours than any other population the world. If a 40-hour work week sounds like a vacation and your sex life could use one, you may want to scale back. Overwork can lead to burnout, a condition marked by stress and feelings of inadequacy that can cause insomnia, dizziness, difficulty thinking clearly and chronic fatigue. All of this can interfere with your sex life, lowering sexual desire and your sense of closeness. Even if you don’t experience burnout, working excessive hours leaves little time for intimacy with your partner.

What Do YOU Think?
Everyone experiences decreased sex drive on occasion. If your symptoms are severe or long-lasting, see your doctor to rule out or secure treatment for any medical causes. Working with a sex and relationship therapist and maintaining open communication with your partner can also help, no matter what the cause.

What to Wear For Casual Sex Encounters?

dress for sex

Since we all notice a person’s appearance before having a chance to speak, your outfit should do some talking for you. Dressing too provocatively can scare a person away who is looking for love, but casual dating is the perfect time to dust off your corset and garter and work what you’ve got!

While everyone’s own personal style differs, the goal of a hookup outfit should be the same. Your outfit will attract people with similar tastes, so try to keep your date in mind while choosing something that is comfortable and that makes you feel sexy.

Top to Bottom
Make sure to do your hair and make-up. It polishes the look and gives you a bump of confidence. Just consider potential messes when choosing lip color. A stain might be best.

Garments with zippers or stretchy bodycon dresses both feed a man’s imagination of how easy they’d be to remove.

Since foot fetishism is the dominant fixation for most men, don’t skimp on your footwear. This is a great time to rock your favorite stilettos, platforms, heeled boots, or elegant sandals. This is the one area where being difficult to remove doesn’t matter since you’re most likely going to be taking them off yourself. Wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity for the classic bend-and-unsnap.

Don’t Disregard the Lingerie
This is the final thing he’ll see before the main exhibit, so don’t dissapoint.

Consider the hue, as color plays a big role in emotion. These are some of the most common colors used in undergarments, but certainly not your only choices. Don’t be discouraged to wear what looks best on you.

Black conjures thoughts of mystery, power, and seduction.
White, in contrast, represents innocence, softness, and perfection.
Red is linked with our most primal urges, associated with passion, lust, vitality, and strength.
Nude(beige, gold, brown, tan) and all of it’s varying neutral shades are calming, crisp, and represent the same purity, elegance, and innocence as ivory. Avoid looking too blah by choosing satin or a textured cloth.
Don’t wear something complicated to take on and off, or something worn out. You don’t need to go out and buy something silky or lacey for the occasion, but do choose something that’s nice, looks sexy, and most importantly something you feel comfortable in.

No matter how sexy your panties maybe, if they’re constantly riding up or itchy, the discomfort on your face is going to show and seriously cut back on your sex appeal.

Consider Who You’re Going Out With
Being too dressy around someone more low-key can give off a snooty air, while not dressing up enough for someone more established will appear lazy or sloppy. Put some time into considering your date’s own style, personality, and any fetishes they have.

A successful older man might enjoy a nice, classy dress.
A more outgoing younger guy won’t be scared off by a skimpier dress, bold makeup, and shiny accessories.
A rocker type will dig your favorite band tee, fishnets, and a fitted pencil skirt.
DON’T WEAR
No one wraps presents in cellophane. Seeing everything all at once on a person equally quells excitement of opening the gift. Additionally, a bounty cloaked in duct tape is just going to leave the recipient frustrated and fruitless.

Make it easy for your date so he can feel confident and adequate while peeling off your layers. Anything that makes you look like a lady of the night – unless that’s a fantasy of theirs. But do consider you’re going to have to be seen in whatever you choose on your way to meet him. Maybe flirt with the idea of a trench coat to build anticipation for the big reveal.

Skinny Jeans
You don’t need your man punching himself in the face when your hips finally release those pants. Despite how banging they may make your booty, if something is hard for you to get on, it’ll be equally hard to take off.

Tights
Not only can these high waisted accoutrements appear a bit granny, they also prevent him from brushing up against skin. If you must, wear thigh-highs. They’re easier to remove and SO SEXY.

Complex Lingerie
If you think you’re sensing a pattern here, you’re right. While undergarments with lots of straps or cutouts are super hot in photos, they’re also a man’s worst nightmare. Anything that takes a couple minutes for you to put on, a man will never figure out how to seize it.

The art of seduction is complex and your appearance places a pivotal role in how you are perceived. A careless decision to wear something frumpy or unfitting can crush the mood you and your casual dating partners have been building together. Spend some quality time in front of your mirror trying your different options until you find the look that works for you.

Low Sex Drive in Men: Why It Happens and What to Do

Low Sex Drive

How to Cope with Low Sex Drive in Men

1 Side Effect of Aging: Low Sex Drive in Men

Unfortunately, low sex drive in men is seen as an inevitable side effect of aging, but guys who are headed into their golden years are not always doomed to a loss of interest in a little under-the-sheets play. In fact, the average man may enjoy a hearty appetite for intimacy far into his older years. Conversely, a weak libido can affect younger men. Understanding the underlying causes is the key to overcoming this problem or avoiding it altogether. In the following sections, we will discuss the facts about decreased sex drive and what to do about it.

Does ED = Decreased Sex Drive?

While it stands to reason that they are connected, low libido and a weak sex drive should not be put into the same category as erectile dysfunction, as they are completely different medical issues. In fact, men who have ED may have a very powerful interest in sex – they are just not up to the task, so to speak. However, these conditions can co-exist, particularly in men who have cardiovascular disease or a systemic illness such as diabetes. Because of this, a doctor should always be the first stop in determining why you’re not feeling the urge as often.

What about Low T?

Hormones such as testosterone do, indeed, play an important role in the ability to feel aroused. Men who have lower-than normal levels of testosterone are much less likely to feel turned on or to engage in any sexual activity, even masturbation. Low T, as it is often called, can be caused by stress, certain medications (such as antidepressants and some blood pressure medications and chemotherapy drugs), and other medical factors. Treating these issues and/or switching medications can help put the pep back in your step.

Other hormonal factors

Interestingly enough, not only testosterone, but also other hormones play a big role in the sexual arena. Low levels of thyroid hormone or very high levels of prolactin can impact testosterone levels, leading to low T issues. Again, treating these medical concerns is the first step in overcoming low sex drive.

Mental factors

While men are often blamed for thinking with their penis, rather than their brain, the brain actually plays a very important role in arousal. As such, men who are suffering from mood disorders such as depression and anxiety – conditions that occur in part due to altered brain chemistry, may not feel much like cuddling up with a partner. Likewise, a man who is experiencing relationship stress may not feel turned on by his partner. Therapy, either individual or for couples, can help address these concerns and allow a man to feel more like himself.

Penile Care

Believe it or not, the confidence and sense of well-being that come from adequate self-care can go a long way toward making anyone – male or female – feel sexier and more attractive. For the average man, this can be accomplished through regular and thorough attention to penile hygiene. Make sure to clean the area properly to keep it in tip top shape, then dry and moisturize your skin with a product made specifically for men, like a penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which has been clinically proven safe and mild for skin). This particular health crème is a super weapon, containing vitamins and nutrients essential to the wellbeing of private area skin, like vitamin C, for collagen production, and Shea butter, which hydrates the skin leaving the area soft and smooth. Keep the penis skin clean, dry, and hydrated for optimal health.

7 Sexual Positions Women Enjoy

Sexual Positions Women Enjoy

Women Reveal The Seven Bedroom Positions They Enjoy Most

It’s fair to say that men will enjoy most sex positions – pretty much any that involve, well, sex.

Women are a bit more complicated, and what men may love the most isn’t what is going to get their lady to the finish line. We consulted some sex experts and adult performers – people who make sex their business – to see what positions are the best for women to enjoy. It seems that while yoga-tastic, wildly inventive advanced sex positions may be great for a change now and then, what women love the most is really missionary. Simple and delicious. Don’t spend all your energy trying to make a crazy position work, spend that time focusing on pleasure while enjoying some of these timeless classics that women love.

Missionary

Missionary is one of the most popular sex positions for a reason: It delivers results! It is intimate, allowing you to gaze deep into your lover’s eyes as you reach the finish line. “The positioning and motion stimulates the woman’s clitoris, which is what the majority of ladies (close to 70%) need in order to orgasm.

Perhaps this is why women have been rating it their top pick over the years,” says sexologist Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight.

“The romantic and softer side of me really enjoys missionary,” says adult entertainment performer Jelena Jensen, known for her work with studios like Girlfriends Films. “While in missionary, I’m able to see him above me, look into his eyes and wrap my entire body around him. There’s much more of a connection while in missionary, especially with someone you have feelings for.”

Adult performer and fetish model Casey Calvert agrees on missionary as a favorite. “In my book, relaxation is step one to orgasm. But besides that, missionary is my number-one position because I can control the angle of my pelvis to make sure he’s really hitting just the right spot. I can do the same in cowgirl, I’m just more of a girl-on-the-bottom kinda girl!”

Missionary Variation: Legs On Chest

One of the great things about missionary is that there are plenty of ways to spice it up, says Morse. “For example, instead of laying chest to chest, try holding your partner’s legs against your chest, crossed at the ankles with her thigh muscles clenched. Women will still love this variation because the clenched thighs provide the same amount of clitoral stimulation (if not more) and allow for a little more hip movement to help your partner hit that sweet spot. Men will definitely enjoy the tighter feel, the ability for deeper thrusts, and the increased visibility won’t hurt either,” says Morse.

Doggy Style 1: Stacked Spooning

If we were going by most enjoyable positions for men, doggy style would definitely make the cut. “It’s no secret why men love this porn-tastic position. It is naughty, allows for full range of motion, and you really can’t beat the view,” says Morse. For women, on the other hand, doggy style is not always a slam-dunk. Morse suggests a variation of doggy-style that both men and women can get behind, if you’ll pardon the pun.

“It’s a lot like the well-known spooning position, but instead of staying on your sides, you and your partner are stacked on top of one another. Have your partner lay face down on a bed or some other soft surface with her legs slightly spread. Lie on top of her, using your arms for support (kind of like a plank) and enter her from behind. Not only does this face down configuration provide more intense friction with each thrust, the rocking motion will also create some pleasurable pressure against your clitoris for a double whammy,” says Morse.

Doggy Style 2: Pillow Under Pelvis

If the stacked feeling proves to be a little bit too much, you can also try placing a pillow underneath her pelvis. “The slight elevation allows for much deeper penetration, and also puts her at the perfect angle for some effortless G-Spot stimulation,” says Morse.

Doggy Style 3: Flattened Doggy

There are other spins on traditional doggy great for women as well. “While in a flattened doggy, the man is able to hold the woman down by the small of her back. Not only is this great for women that like to be restrained, but the lower back is also an erogenous zone of the female body. This position can also allow for more G-spot stimulation,” says Jensen who shares that this is a great choice for women who are more turned on by the submissive side of sex.

Woman On Top

When it comes to female-friendly sex positions, being on top is definitely a pleaser! “With the man on his back, ladies get full control of depth and speed of motion, and are free to grind their hips in whatever way will provide the best direct clitoral stimulation. From a visual perspective, this position is just about as good as it gets for guys. Plus, because this position focuses more on rocking back and forth than thrusting in and out, men tend to last a bit longer too!” says Morse.

Woman On Top Variation: Chair

Some women may shy away from the standard cowgirl position because they feel too on display or are self-conscious in their movements, says Morse. “If this is the case, or if you just feel like trying something a little more comfortable, take this position to the nearest couch or chair. Sit up normally and have your partner straddle you so that you are face-to-face, or breasts-to-face, depending on height. Instead of bouncing up and down like they do in all of your favorite movies, have your partner swirl around in circles and rock back and forth so that the penis hits the wall of her G-spot over and over again. This grinding motion should also do some pretty magical things for her clitoris too, hopefully resulting in an elusive blended orgasm,” says Morse.

How to French Kiss: 9 Sex Therapist-Approved Tips

deep french kissing

Whether it’s the first time or the 100th, French kissing is something that, ideally, should leave your partner feeling weak in the knees. From figuring out the right amount of tongue to use to remembering to breathe, there’s a lot that goes into how to French kiss. In general, the more confident and relaxed you are, the better. So if you’re doubting your make out skills, chill. French kissing is an art, and you can always improve your technique. Whether your looking for a basic outline of how to French kiss or pro tips to take your make out game to the next level, we’ve compiled the ultimate guide to French kissing, with expert tips from sex therapists and dating experts.

How to French Kiss: The Basics and Beyond

  1. Make a Move
    Don’t be afraid to make the first move! “We are all responsible for our own pleasure, and shouldn’t always wait for the other person to turn us on or kiss us. Both partners should be assertive if they want (to French kiss). Don’t ask if you can kiss. Perhaps start off with a forehead kiss, and then a kiss on the tip of the nose – then go in for a kiss. Pull your love close to you by the waist and tell them how good their lips taste on your tongue,” says relationship and sex therapist Marissa Nelson.
  2. Start Slowly
    When it comes to french kissing, there’s no need to rush. Rushing, actually, can do more harm than good. “Ease into it. Sometimes people are anxious and jump into the kiss. It’s not smooth and it can get a awkward. Make sure it’s mutual and start with meaningful eye contact,” explains Dr. Claudia Six, a clinical sexologist and counselor.

“Start by keeping your mouth relaxed and your kisses soft and tender at first. Kiss the top of the lips, the bottom of the lips, graze your tongue between the lips and slowly add a little tongue. You can play and chase your partner’s tongue for a couple of seconds and then suck on the top and bottom lip. When you start getting into the groove, you can increase the pressure and intensity of the kiss,” says Dr. Nelson.

  1. Be Present and Passionate
    Stay present, relax and try not to overthink about your kissing technique. According to Dr. Chris Donaghue, relationship expert and author of “Sex Outside the Lines:Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture,” the No. 1 thing people struggle with when french kissing is focusing too much on trying to be good. “What makes French kissing good is being present but also being passionate. Just be in the moment. When you’re French kissing with someone you’re saying ‘I have passion for you. I want to connect deeper. I want to build intimacy with you.’ It’s a profound act of showing interest, care and love. You’re trying to communicate to someone that you care about them; don’t be so obsessed with technique.” says Dr. Donaghue.
  2. Pay Attention to How Your Partner is Responding
    If you’re paying attention to your partner, you pick up on things. If they’re going slow and not using tongue yet, it’s a signal to you to keep things slow and simple (for the moment). All along the way it’s important to read their energy. “Make eye contact once in awhile and pay attention to what’s happening. If you know don’t if the other person can’t breathe, for example, don’t ignore it and just kind of plow forth.”

As passion builds and momentum increases, you can kiss them with more urgency. “See how they’re responding and if they seem to like what’s happening. Look at your partner and also feel their breath,” says Dr. Six. Is their breath getting faster or deeper? Are there hands clinging to you? Those are good signs.”

  1. Use Your Tongue Purposefully
    This isn’t a kiss hello or a peck on the cheek. French kissing all about passion, and that means using your tongue. There’s a fine line between the perfect about of tongue and too much tongue, however.

“It’s that really beautiful gray area where you’re using tongue thereby making it more impactful and hot and sexier than just a closed mouth kiss or a peck on the cheek. But don’t overwhelm with thrusting and tongue power; it’s about a gentle use of your tongue to communicate interest or passion,” says Dr. Donaghue.

While movie kisses are typically wide-mouthed, tongue-lapping affairs, that’s always a real portrayal of how to French kiss. There’s an ebb and a flow, at times slow, tender and sweet but gradually increasing in intensity. But when you’re actually kissing a real guy, how much tongue do you use? If you want a flat-out formula, try this:

As you start kissing, lick his lips a tiny bit. It’s like a movie trailer of what’s to come!
Tease him by putting the tip of your tongue in his mouth for just a second and then moving your head back slightly to tease him. So sweet and seductive…
Run the tip of your tongue around your guy’s teeth, play with his tongue and even suck on his tongue gently for few seconds, which will feel surprisingly amazing.
Combine tongue kisses with sweet kisses, slow and soft kisses, neck kisses, cheek kisses, etc.

  1. Use Your Hands
    Don’t leave your hands in your pocket or limp at your sides. Use them! There’s literally so many sexy and sweet ways you can use your hands while your making out:

run your fingers through partner’s hair
gently scrape them along their back and neck
hold their hands in yours
grip their waist or legs if your sitting in their lap or straddling them
cup their face in your hands
etc.
“Where your hands are communicates something,” says Dr. Donaghue. “If your hands are wrapped around them that naturally adds like another layer of passion and intensity.”

  1. Open Your Eyes (Sometimes)
    Once you’re really comfortable with French kissing, start to play with basic technique can play with it. Now that you’ve got the basics down, try opening your eyes. When most people think of kissing, they think of closed eyes. But making eye contact before the kiss and during the kiss can make the experience more intimate.
  2. Get Lost In the Moment
    “Get into it! Bring your excitement and passion. No one wants to kiss a dead fish. Allow yourself to let go and get lost in the moment,” says Dr. Nelson.
  3. Don’t Neglect Make Out Sessions
    Continued effort to make out years into your relationship communicates to your partner that you care about them and that they are important to you. It is a big deal and it matters greatly.

“Unfortunately, the longer a couple is together the lazier they get about how much work they put into French kissing. They tend to think it doesn’t matter as much, that it’s not as needed,” explains Dr. Donaghue. “I think couples need to prioritize kissing more because that is one of the first things that diminishes. Sex will keep going, but kissing slows down and stops. But for most of the couples I work with, kissing is more meaningful to them than just sex. French kissing needs to remain a priority, especially in long-term relationships.

  1. If It’s Not Going Well, Talk About It the Right Way
    When it comes to any criticism of kissing (or anything sexual), most people are a little fragile and insecure. So don’t do criticize. Far better to let your partner know what you like and what turns you on. Make it about you, not them. The fact of the matter is, there’s no right or wrong way to French kiss. Everyone kisses differently, and all that matters is that you and your partner work together to make French kissing a positive experience for both parties.

“It’s better to not make a comment or critique about how they kiss. Instead of saying ‘You use too much tongue’ or ‘I don’t like the way you kissed me,’ it’s better to say ‘Hey, I love when people kiss me with a lot of tongue,’ or ‘I love when people use less tongue,’ etc. And that’s actually the whole truth: there is no such thing as a wrong kiss hurts. It’s just that they don’t know how you like to be kissed and then you need to tell them,” says Dr. Donaghue.

One of Dr. Nelson’s suggestions is for couples to write a list of turn ons and turn offs when it comes to their French kissing styles and share it with each other. One night, one partner should take the lead and show how they like to be kissed, and the following night you the roles are reversed.

Common Complaints About French Kissing
Curious about what people complain about when it comes to their partner’s French kissing? It’s only natural to wonder. Plus, understand how not to French kiss helps us know how to French kiss even better. Here are the top complaints heard by Dr. Six and Dr. Nelson on French kissing technique.

Bad Breath
It might seem obvious, but it still needs to be said: no one wants to French kiss someone with bad breath. If you know your going to get up close and personal, it’s important to brush your teeth and/or pop a breath mint beforehand.

“I can’t tell you how many couples privately complain about their partner’s bad breath,” says Dr. Nelson. “I had a client where one of her biggest turn offs was her partner’s (bad breath). When she was kissing she would not be into the moment, but rather thinking about what he had for lunch. It would prevent her from wanting to kiss or be intimate.”

We worked on sandwiching the critique by her praising what she liked best about their kissing and sex life. Then she let him know that she wanted to be closer to him and noticed that sometimes she was distracted or turned off by his breath when he came home from work. He said ‘no problem,’ went to the dentist to get a cleaning and when he came home he would brush his teeth.”

Kissing That’s Too Wet or Sloppy
“Keep the saliva at bay and the drool to yourself,” says Dr. Nelson. “It’s one of the biggest reported turn offs when the kissing is too juicy or someone is slobbering on them.

Too Much Tongue
When someone uses too much tongue during French kissing, it can leave their partner feeling overwhelmed and anything but turned on. If your partner is overzealous, try kissing without tongue, and then reintroducing it later. “A guy in session told me his girlfriend tried to play tonsil hockey with him and it freaked him out. We focused on just kissing without tongue and paying attention to being tender by holding each other’s face, and using kissing to connect emotionally,” says Dr. Six.

Scratchy Facial Hair on the Man
Some women love the feeling of a man’s stubble or beard along their cheek, but for others it’s downright painful. If you fall in the latter camp, ask you guy to shave! Communication is everything when it comes to French kissing (and just about everything else in a relationship). “If you’re really going to get into it, you can can end up chafing the girl’s skin,” says Dr. Six.

Things To Consider Before Sleeping With A Virgin

sleep with a virgin

Let’s say you’ve been dating someone a while and you’re discussing the prospect of having sex for the first time together. You’re naturally feeling pretty excited to take things to the next level, and the two of you are talking about how it will go down. So far, so good!

However, that’s when things take an unexpected turn. She pauses, and then brings up an unusual complicating detail: she’s never actually done this before. No, not just with you: she’s never had sex with anyone, period. Yup — she’s a virgin.

How do you proceed? What are the rules here? How do you make her feel as comfortable as possible, and make sure her first experience goes well?

Well, don’t freak out, because this article has you covered. Read on for the top eight things to consider before sleeping with a virgin:

  1. Society Has A Lot Of Strange Ideas About Virginity
    The idea of “virginity” is treated in a variety of different ways in society and through the mainstream media, from an embarrassment to be gotten rid of at all costs to the ultimate state of purity and innocence.

In general, these contrasting conceptions of virginity divide down gender lines: men who are virgins are more likely to be thought of as deserving of sympathy for their “embarrassing” predicament, whereas female virgins are more likely to be considered the ultimate ideal in purity and innocence. Assuming that the virgin you’re thinking of sleeping with is female, it’s worth considering the whole host of societal pressure she is likely facing about the concept of her virginity, and what losing it means.

It’s also worth factoring in the idea that it’s the ultimate goal for men to “take” a woman’s virginity. It’s a pretty creepy way of looking at things, and it would be a good idea for you to reassure her that that’s not your mindset.

  1. This Might Be A Seriously Important Moment For Her (Or Maybe It Isn’t)
    People have varying degrees of sentimentality about losing their virginity. For some people – as mentioned above, usually males – virginity is something to be gotten rid of quickly and without too much fanfare. For others – usually females, but not always – virginity is a precious state to be lost only when you’ve found someone you truly love. For others still, it’s not that big a deal either way: it’s a pretty neutral event; a normal and uneventful part of growing up.

The key thing is for you to determine how your partner feels, and proceed accordingly from there. If this is a massive, massive deal for her, you’re going to need to talk about it in detail and spend some time laying the foundations for the event. If it’s no big deal for her, you’ll still need to be gentle and considerate, but there may be less emotional prep work involved. Tailor your approach to the attitude of your partner, but err on the side of treating it as a significant event for her.

  1. If There Is A Big Age Gap Between You, Consider Not Doing It
    There are lots of reasons that women may end up being in their 20s or beyond and still in virginal states, but, in general, virginity does tend to correlate with younger age.

If you are contemplating sleeping with a virgin who is much younger than you (in her teens, say, while you are well into your 20s or older), it’s worth reconsidering the power dynamics at play in your situation. Sometimes young girls like the idea of sleeping with older men and may feel as if it makes them seem more mature and developed than their peers, but it’s not unusual for them to regret having sex with older men later down the line.

Basically, this one comes down to common decency and probably goes without saying for most AskMen readers: Don’t be a creep and don’t take advantage of someone who is much younger than you. Make sure the power dynamics in your relationship are equal, and that everyone is fully happy to proceed.

  1. Talk About Your Expectations
    Are the two of you in a relationship, or is this a casual thing for you (or her)? Will your relationship continue after the two of you have sex, and in what capacity? These are crucial issues to work through ahead of time – you need to make sure everyone is on the same page and no one is being set up for hurt afterwards.

Obviously you can’t completely prevent one of you getting hurt feelings or regretting what happened, but you can reduce the chances with clear, honest communication up-front.

  1. Take The Usual Precautions To Prevent Unwanted Pregnancy And STIs
    Sleeping with a virgin doesn’t mean you can neglect the usual precautions you need to take to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STIs. There are still risks to consider no matter who you are sleeping with, so make sure you are using protection (i.e. condoms) and adequate birth control, unless you want her first time to be much more dramatic than it needs to be.
  1. You Will Need To Take Things Slowly And Gently
    Regardless of your partner’s attitude towards losing her virginity, in terms of the physical act itself, it’s going to pay to take things slowly.

Sex is something she hasn’t experienced before and she will be physically unused to it, which could mean a bit of blood on your sheets and potentially some pain for her. Take your cues from your partner: slow down or stop when she tells you to, and listen to what she says to you in terms of how she’s feeling.

Pay extra attention to non-verbal cues, too: if she looks as though she’s uncomfortable, stop and check in, and see if there’s anything she’d like you to do differently. Now is not the time to be experimenting with wild positions and sustained sex marathons, and your main focus should be on ensuring your partner’s comfort.

It’s important to remember, too, that the sex itself may not be amazing: it’s her first time, and given all the social and societal around virginity, it’s highly possible that the event itself will be an anti-climax. Don’t worry too much about that side of things: Sex gets better with practice, so for her first time, focus on making sure she’s comfortable and happy.

  1. Be There For Her Afterwards
    Regardless of your relationship status, you should be kind and courteous to your partner in the aftermath of her first sexual experience. Cuddle, say kind things, and stick around. Make sure she gets home safely. Make sure she’s feeling OK, and check in on how she’s feeling tomorrow, too. Be a support person and a sounding board, and be open about any fears or concerns you have, too – she should be making a similar effort to make sure that you are feeling positively about the experience as well.
  2. Make Sure That You’re Feeling Safe, Happy And Comfortable, Too
    Of course the focus here will mainly be on your partner, as she is the one who is losing her virginity, but that doesn’t mean you fall out of the picture completely. Just because you’ve done this before, it doesn’t mean you don’t need to consider your own feelings.

Are things moving faster than you’d like them to? Are you being pressured out of using protection, or pressured into a relationship you’ve made clear you don’t want? That’s not okay, and you’re entitled to draw clear boundaries and stand up for yourself. Again, communication is important here: make sure you are being crystal clear about your expectations, needs and wants well before the two of you do the deed.

The overarching goal here is to make sure that both of you have a safe and enjoyable time. Your partner will probably need more preparation than you will, and it’s your role to be there for her to discuss any issues that arise. She has a reciprocal role to listen to your concerns, too, and to address them as best as she can.

So there you have it. The idea of sleeping with a virgin can be pretty daunting, due to the high degree of pressure we place on the concept to begin with. It doesn’t need to be an anxiety-inducing experience, though. You can make sure it’s as positive as possible for the two of you by acting with respect and dignity, and by keeping the channels of communication open and honest. Good luck!

How To Ask A Girl For Sex and Get a Yes Every Time.

You’ve seen a girl you like.

young couple lying in bed

And you want to have sex with her, what next?

How do you ask her to have sex with you without being rejected? Or worse, offending her?

That’s exactly what I’ll show you below…

Don’t Ask Her With Words…
First, you have to realize that sex predates language and that you don’t’ need to verbally ask a girl to have sex with you before she knows you want to.

In fact, if you verbally asked a girl to have sex with you, she would most likely get offended.

She would think you see her as some slut.

So you have to show her.

And how do you show her?

Through your actions…

Your sexual intent should be reflected in your actions.

And deep in her biological programming, she knows when you’re trying to have sex with her.

But just like a bird’s mating dance, you have to go through the complete process before you can “unlock” her lady parts.

Step 1: Make Her Feel Comfortable…
Before a girl will have sex with you, she needs to feel comfortable.

Very comfortable.

Afterall, she’s going to make herself very vulnerable to you.

She’s going to get naked before you.

Surrender herself to be penetrated.

And maybe even risk a pregnancy.

Ways to make a girl feel comfortable so she can have sex with you:
Be interested: Genuinely show some interest in her.

As far as any girl is concerned, she is the most interesting person in the world.

So show some interest.

If you are not interested in her as a person, then it means you’ll leave immediately you nut in her.

And no girl wants that…

Make her feel like she’s known you for a long time: Even if you just met her today, you can still make it seem as if you two have spent more time together.

One way to do this is to treat her as you would treat an old friend.

Trick your brain into treating her as an old girlfriend and she would feel it.

Another way is to take her to multiple venues.

Hop bars or clubs.

Take her to a number of different places before you take her home for sex.

Taking her to multiple venues causes some sort of time distortion. And this makes her feel she’s known you for longer than she has.

Stop when she tells you to: When you take her home and start smooching her. When she tells you to stop, stop.

Stop and try again after a little while.

By stopping you show her she can trust you.

So whenever you sense genuine discomfort too, back off. Then attempt again later.

Don’ make her feel like a slut: This is huge.

Whenever you are going to sleep with a girl, you have to take all the “responsibility” of sex away from her.

She has to feel as if it was something that “just happened”…even though she wanted it.

This was why verbally asking a girl to have sex with you is counterproductive.

Also, don’t do any overly sexual stuff with her when others are watching, or she’ll feel judged.

At any point you make a girl feel judged, or like a slut, she will shut down.

Compliment her: Compliment the the nice things you like about her.

Don’t be insincere and lie to get in her pants, as they will likely come out as insincere.

If you find a girl attractive enough to sleep with her, then I’m sure there are things you can sexually compliment her on too.
Step 2: Seduce Her…
This is the stage where nonverbally you “ask” her to have sex with you.

Some parts of it are not entirely separate from the attraction and comfort phases. But can happen during either.

​Touch Her: It is important that from time to during your interaction with the girl that you make physical contact.

If you don’t, she would take your interest in her as non-sexual. And this is exactly what you don’t want.

If she thinks your interest is non-sexual then you’ll fall into the “friend-zone”.

You could touch her to check out her jewelry. Or feel her hair. Or take her hand while you cross the road.

Or guide her over by the small of her back.

Anything is fine, but do it confidently and as if it’s not a big deal, because it is not.

Touching a woman also releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone.

Hold eye-contact: One of the most seductive things you can do to a woman is maintaining eye-contact.

Gazing into a woman’s eyes causes her to become aroused.

So you should make a habit of holding eye contact with girls you want to have sex with.

Have full sexual intent: If you are not full of desire for the girl, she can feel this.

If your sexual desire for her is lukewarm, her response to you will be tepid as well.

Make her feel your genuine horniness for her and you will reap the rewards because whatever you feel the girl will feel.

Take her to a “sex location”: She’s not going to have sex with you on the streets, or in the bar or club.

Even when she’s ready to sleep with you, you would still need to take her to a location where you two can have some privacy.|

Initiate sex: This is the closest thing to verbally asking her to have sex with you.

After you’ve taken her to a “sex location”, initiate sexually by starting heavy sexual touching.

From here it’s all smooth sailing.

How to Perform Cunnilingus

How to Perform Cunnilingus

Some people consider oral sex the most intimate of all sex acts. Cunnilingus, the technical term for performing oral sex on a woman, can be incredibly intimate. To be good at it, you have to be an excellent reader of her body, her breathing, her movements, and what she might be telling you with words.

Everything you do is for your partner at that moment and shouldn’t be based on performance expectations, lessons from porn, or previous oral sex experiences.

Clean Yourself Up
Make sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed as you’ll want to use your hands as well as your mouth on her. If you have facial hair and shave regularly, be sure to do it beforehand; nothing kills the mood quite like sandpaper on her sensitive parts.

Get Wet
A lot of people have preconceived notions about the taste and/or smell of their partner’s genitals. If you’re anxious about this, suggest a romantic bath or shower together and then go down on her. Getting naked and wet with each other is never a bad idea, and as you get more comfortable, you will probably find that your partner’s taste and smell trigger more arousal than anything else. Some people use flavored lubricants, and many dental dams (great for safer sex) are flavored also.

Start Slowly
Most women won’t want to go from zero to oral sex in 30 seconds. Take your time and ease into it. Do other things you know she loves.

Use your hands and mouth all over her body, which will nicely foreshadow what is to come. When she’s good and excited, her hips are thrusting and the moans pretty regular, head south.

Get Comfortable
Both of you will enjoy this more if you’re both physically comfortable. Use pillows and be creative with oral sex positions so that you are both relaxed and feel like you can move around.

Some people will find it hard on their neck to lie between their partner’s legs with their head poised over her vulva. For others, this will work just great. Remember that it’s okay to change positions and move around.

Get the Lay of the Land
If you don’t have the body parts, you might want to brush up on your female genital anatomy. Most of the attention with cunnilingus is on the clitoris, but every woman is different and there may be other parts of her that will take oral sex from the every day to the out of this world. Use your fingers to spread her lips and take a good look at her clitoris, her labia, her mons, her vagina, her perineum and her anus.

When in Doubt, Go Slow
A lot of women have very sensitive clitorises, so avoid stampeding to the clitoris. Flatten your tongue and use wide slow strokes to explore her inner and outer lips, her vagina, and her clitoris. Imagine licking an ice cream cone. Start at the perineum and lick up and around her clit and back down the other side.

Check the Hood
Most women prefer to have their clitoral hood licked. This is a fold of skin that covers the actual glans of the clitoris, which is extremely sensitive.

Experiment With Different Strokes
In general, women tend to like firm pressure and repetitive motion.

Quick tongue flicks against the clitoris can be irritating. If you’re not sure, ask her to give you feedback while you try different kinds of strokes—circular, side-to-side, up-and-down. Don’t take it personally if she flinches—discovering what pleases is often a process of trial and error.

Let Her Give You a Hand
If you’ve ever seen her masturbate, you have some idea how she likes her clit to be touched. Ask her to show you now, or you can offer her your hand and ask her to demonstrate the kind of stroking she prefers by placing hers on top of yours.

Add Penetration
When she’s good and excited, add some lubricant to your fingers or toy and gently insert it into her vagina. Move them in and out using short but firm strokes. Put your mouth back on her clitoris and lick her while you penetrate her.

This won’t do it for all women, but many love the experience of clitoral stimulation and penetration.

Keep a Steady Pace
Women like steady stimulation, so don’t stop unless you need to come up for air. You’ll see the signs when she’s getting ready to go over the top—her moans, her thighs pressing against your head, her body arching, her hands tightening on your head—she’ll let you know when to stop.

A Few Extra Words of Advice
Don’t forget the rest of her body. In terms of what’s nearby, you can incorporate the perineum and vaginal opening into your oral sex.
If you are using a sex toy for penetration, she might prefer to work the dildo or vibrator inside her while you’re licking. This allows you to concentrate, and her to get the rhythm she likes best.
If your mouth or tongue tires, give it a rest but replace the stimulation with your hand or a vibrator (unless she wants a rest too).
Male partners need to know that it can take women longer to come than men, and many women are anxious about this. Whatever you do, don’t make her feel bad about how long it’s taking, and hang in there for the long haul. If you need to stop or change things up, that’s okay, but don’t make it about her “taking too long,” that’ll only make it take longer.