Is interracial sex better than sex with someone within your own race?

The other day, I google searched interracial sex… all I got was a massive array of porn sites (what was I expecting anyway?). Well, I was hoping to get some insights on the above topic.

Have you ever had sex with someone outside your race? Would you be interested in having sex with someone of another race? Is interracial sex a taboo to you? This is a very controversial topic. “Why the hell would someone prefer to have interracial sex?᾿ most people may ask.

The truth of the matter is that the US is a culture obsessed with interracial dating and interracial sex, in particular, – both positively and negatively. Going by the history of the slave era white people spoke with repulsion about interracial sex – even though many white men were constantly having sex with black women. In this “colorblind era᾿, people are still obsessed with interracial sex.

According to a poll done on the blog, majority (67%) of the people that participated in the poll said interracial sex is better than sex with someone within their own race and 15% said it wasn’t better. The rest either never had interracial sex or same race sex.

Adult sex dating among interracial singles is much in practice especially among liberal communities and long-term relationships or matrimony is quiet popular. With the internet being a general platform that brings all types of people, cultures and societies together, we need not emphasize the kind of catalyst it is for those interested in interracial dating and sex… it is a well-known fact.

Most people may decide to try out interracial sex just for the kick of it or out of curiosity. This has brought about statements like “once you go black you never go back᾿ among many others. Given the sexualization and stereotypes surrounding interracial sex, we find most people… especially in their teenage and college life engaging in interracial sex just to prove and disprove such statements.

Most people may not publicly say “interracial sex is: bizarre, disgusting, exciting, adventurous, morally repugnant,᾿ and so on. But when people get behind closed doors with their family and friends comments like “That black dude must have really been packing some heat below the belt. Why else would those white women be interested in black men᾿ or “Only white women with no self esteem will get with a guy like that.᾿ When they go online to search for interracial porn, they are thinking it… and don’t get me started people expressing their thoughts with by leaving anonymous comments on blogs.

So what is wrong with enjoying sex with a person of other race?

For some reason, people think interracial sex is exotic and daring… especially when it involves Black men and white women and Asian women and white men. It’s almost like people believe that race is correlated with penis size and a person’s level of sexual desire. But are people who engage in interracial sex are deviant, rebellious, daring, gross, odd, oversexed, and ugly as most people believe?

If you’ve had interracial sex already, how good or bad were the encounters? Is it possible that they had everything to do with the guys’ or ladies’ performances, and not the person’s races?

Is “Swallowing” Bad For Your Health?

Every Friday, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader who wanted to know the following:

“Is the ingestion of a man’s ejaculate harmful?”

Good question! There are a lot of misconceptions out there about semen and its effects on health, so let’s take a few moments to separate fact from fiction.

First, if you perform oral sex on a man who has an STI (e.g., chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV), you run the risk of contracting his infection. And it doesn’t really matter whether you swallow his semen or spit it out—the risk comes from having ejaculate in your mouth. So, if you know your partner has an infection or you aren’t sure of his status, it would be advisable to use a condom to prevent contact with his semen, thereby lowering your own infection risk.

Assuming he is uninfected, there are very few risks associated with having his ejaculate in your mouth or swallowing it. For starters, it’s not going to make you fat. I’ve had some people ask whether semen is loaded with calories, and the answer is no. In fact, most estimates I’ve seen put the number of calories in a “serving” of semen somewhere between 1 and 5.

Also, women don’t need to worry about pregnancy from swallowing semen because sperm deposited in your digestive tract won’t be able to make it into your reproductive tract…unless you get stabbed in the stomach after performing oral sex (which is pretty unlikely). I don’t want to turn this into a sideshow, but I did read one case a few years ago of an African girl who was performing oral sex on her boyfriend when her ex walked in on them [1]. Apparently a knife fight ensued and she was stabbed in the stomach. Soon after, she discovered that she was pregnant. After visiting a doctor, the mode of conception was attributed to her stabbing. Of course, you’re probably wondering, “But isn’t this pregnancy more likely the result of vaginal intercourse?” It turns out that wouldn’t be possible in this case because this girl did not have a vagina. She had a genetic condition (Mullerian agenesis) that prevented its development, leaving just a small dimple in the spot where the vagina normally appears. In light of this, the post-oral sex stomach wound seemed to provide the most plausible means of sperm reaching her reproductive tract. I know this story seems hard to believe, and I have my doubts about a pregnancy happening this way, but it was published as a case report in a medical journal.

Aside from potential STI transmission and random stomach stabbings, the only other risk I’m aware of with regard to swallowing ejaculate would be if the receptive partner has a semen allergy. For more on semen allergies.

Related to this, I have also heard of some cases of “semen ingested induced diarrhea,” in which swallowing semen leads to some serious gastrointestinal distress (perhaps as a result of a fructose intolerance, given that fructose is one of the primary components of semen); however, this is thought to be quite rare.

Are there any benefits of swallowing semen? Believe it or not, I read one study a few years back that found a correlation between swallowing semen and risk of preeclampsia (in case you’re unfamiliar, preeclampsia is a condition that tends to occur late in a pregnancy in which a women develops very high blood pressure—if left untreated, this is potentially fatal to both the mother and the fetus). What the researchers found was that women who swallowed more semen through oral sex tended to have a lower risk of developing preeclampsia. Why? The basic idea is that a fetus is exposing its mother to foreign antigens because half of its genetic material is provided by the father. To the extent that a woman is exposed to more of these antigens prior to pregnancy, she may develop a tolerance to them, thereby reducing her risk of having an immune reaction in response to the fetus.

That said, research on the potential benefits of swallowing semen isn’t conclusive enough to say that everyone should be doing it; however, it is pretty clear that as long as the male partner is uninfected and the receptive partner is not allergic to his semen, it is unlikely that swallowing semen will have any negative effects on one’s health.

So You Want to Perform in Porn

If you read that and thought, ‘Why yes, I do want to perform in porn,’ this is for you. If not, please feel free to read along for potential entertainment value. Or put the computer down, and go do whatever it is that people do on Fridays.

For those of you still interested, the first step to performing is deciding what kind of porn you want to do. See, porn isn’t just people with big boobs and giant schlongs in silly setups involving offices and pizza deliverymen. It also isn’t just people who are accepting of all body types/sexual orientations and strive to be as ethical as possible. Nor is it all high-gloss features, intense BDSM scenes, or content made by supposed amateurs. Before I started working in hardcore porn, I thought it was all like John Stagliano’s The Fashionistas. Stagliano shoots a very different sort of product than Digital Playground does, and while my decision to sign with DP worked out very well for me, I did spend the first few movies confused by the differences. If there is an idea in your head of the kind of porn you want to do, examine it and figure out specifically what excites or inspires you. Use it to get a more clear idea of your motivations and the level of involvement you want to have in the adult industry.

Once you’ve narrowed down what kind of scenes you want to do and what kind of performer you want to be, I recommend taking a minute to rethink the decision of actually doing it. Especially if you’re just looking to live out one specific fantasy, make quick cash, or have a few months of adventure, consider whether the porn industry is the right choice for you. Unless the whole of civilization as we know it is destroyed, any nude or sexually explicit images will remain available on the internet in some way forever. Decide whether the chance to have sex with that one particular performer or have that professionally videotaped gang bang is worth the potential that every single person you know now or ever will know in the future will see it. Your parents will find out. Your employers will find out. Your friends, acquaintances, and the people you have romantic relationships with will find out. I call this Murphy’s Law of Scandalous Behavior. If you are unable to come to terms with this, you should probably refrain from engaging in sexual activities in public or on camera… including sending racy cell phone pictures (even via Snapchat.)

If your goal is a full-on career that you envision as peaking with success on the level of Jesse Jane, Ron Jeremy, or Jenna Jameson, get ready for a reality check. Very few performers achieve that level of name recognition or long-term financial viability. Stardom is not guaranteed, even for performers who check all of the most widely marketable boxes. Hundreds of thousands of dollars will not rain down from the sky just because you show up in Southern California with a willingness to take your clothes off. Unproven rumors of a Teen Mom’s paycheck aside, no performer gets paid six figures for a movie.

Remember that short of holding a gun to your head, nobody can force you to engage in a sex act that you do not want to perform, or with partners you do not want to perform those acts with. I would recommend avoiding people who threaten others with guns. The decisions about what sort of work you accept bookings for are yours and yours alone, regardless of what pressures agents, producers, or directors may try to use on you. If you only want to work with ten people or even one person, you have the right to set that boundary. You can set your rates at whatever amount you deem appropriate. You can perform exclusively in romantic girl-girl scenes (as long as you have the necessary genitals for that genre) and you can also refuse all scenes involving fewer than six penises. It is up to you to decide what you are comfortable with and how far out of your comfort zone you are willing to go in order to get more work. For the most part directors and producers want performers to be happy about the sex acts they are performing and the people they are working with. This usually has less to do with morals and more to do with the way that genuine enjoyment of a scene is believed to result in a better and therefore more profitable product.

That said, the higher your rates and the more boundaries you have, the less frequently you will work. Consider keeping your day job for a while. Put your checks in the bank instead of up your nose or in your closet. With a few months’ worth of living expenses in savings or a secondary income, you will be less likely to be tempted into doing something that you may later regret purely for the money. Make sure you have up-to-date vaccinations for hepatitis and HPV. You should probably get a tetanus booster while you’re at the doctor’s office too. The adult industry does manage the risk of STI transmission through testing, barriers, or a combination of both, but there is still a risk. There is no such thing as completely safe sex. This risk is another thing you should come to terms with before entering the adult industry as a performer.

Even if porn is just an adventure for you, remember that it is a job. You will frequently be expected to show up on set appropriately groomed and showered before 9 AM with a valid STI test and at least one form of ID. A big-budget-feature shoot can last for multiple weeks, with three or four 24-hour days in a row. However little sleep you’re able to get on one of these projects, the crew will usually have had far less. Being late or not showing up keeps everyone on set longer than necessary and can cost the company you’re working for money in overtime for the crew and location.

Many scenes being shot now involve some kind of dialogue to set up why the sex is happening. You will need to be able to memorize and deliver at least a couple of lines of this dialogue, preferably in a somewhat convincing manner. You will probably need to learn how to walk into a shot and onto the bright green (or orange or pink or sometimes nonbright black) piece of tape that marks where you’re supposed to end up without obviously looking at the floor. You may need to have sex for extended periods in positions or on surfaces that are uncomfortable, occasionally while wearing special-effects makeup, body paint, a wig, or a silly hat on your head. For female performers, the ability to confidently run over gravel in ill-fitting platform heels somehow turns into a job skill, as does pretending you aren’t freezing in skimpy outfits or sweltering in five layers of wardrobe. If something goes awry with lights, the camera, or one of the performers a scene may take far longer to shoot than the runtime of the finished product. The same sex scene may be repeated for a still camera, softcore footage, or both.

Still want to do porn now that you know we aren’t all millionaires and it takes actual work? I completely understand that. I find the physically demanding and constantly changing nature of the job extremely fun.

Most recognizable performers have done at least one interview where they’ve explained how they got into the porn industry or got their first booking, and many post the contact information for their agent in their Twitter bio. There are a handful of licensed adult agencies and most of them are listed on the LATATA website. The individual agency websites usually have a contact page for potential new talent. Additionally, companies like Burning Angel, Kink, and Pink & White (the makers of Crash Pad) have application pages for people specifically interested in performing for their sites. Some of the homosexual male-oriented companies like Titan Men and Channel 1 Releasing have these pages as well.

If you’re reading this, I feel like it’s safe to assume you have internet access. Use it to do some research. If you can’t figure out the basics from here, you’ll probably be the annoying one who can’t show up on time with the proper documentation, is incapable of remembering lines, and somehow manages to lose half of their wardrobe during lunch break. Personally, I have no interest in metaphorically holding the hand of someone who is likely to make everyone else’s job harder than it needs to be. Unless that person is Scarlett Johansson. I would put up with just about any amount of bullshit from Scarlett Johansson. So: take everything you’ve learned, evaluate it, and then go and have fun. Or don’t have fun. I’m sure there’s at least a small market for that as well.

What Life is Like as a High Priced Escort

How much money did you make?

This changes day to day, the most I’ve made over a weekend was close to AU$10,000. There was not much sex involved, it was more company and his own self exploration.

What did you use your cash for?

I have three properties. After normal bills, it normally goes towards travelling and paying off my properties or helping my family. I don’t party. I don’t drink. I don’t go clubbing.

What was your education level?

Some university. I was studying psychology as I am one of thoses ‘natural psychologists’ (another story, another time) when I started sex work. I put my studies on hold when I realised I am already practicing psychology at work with better pay and less hours.

Do you consider yourself to be intelligent?

I am a huge nerd. I am intelligent. Mainly with interpersonal areas. My last IQ test was 121. Its not something I place importance generally. A lot of sex workers I know are very smart women studying law, biology, veterinarian degrees as well as some others who are using this work to gain capital to launch their own business or just as sex workers running their business.

Did you have any other options in life?

Yes. This is a first choice. I could continue my study and become a registered psychologist. There are many options in that field. My resume is strong if I wished to apply for a different job.

Why did you choose to be an escort?

I have done it twice. The first time, I needed money and I tried sensual massage and later full service. I left for a while. I came back to sex work as I was studying full time.

What types of clients did you have?

They are the general public and from every walk of life. Look around you where ever you are and you will see them. Some are well known, some you wont notice. They are mainly men. I have seen a few couples as well.

What were the “transactions” like?

I assume you mean the service provided in a booking which has sex. Here is a video from KittyKorner (YouTube) that shows you what happens in an average booking under decriminalisation. I recommend looking at her other videos.

For me personally, sex is not in very booking (client decides). I normally only have sex once, but it’s not a rule, talking afterward while we relax tends to be the greater part of my booking. I also cater for crossdressing, light BDSM, Fantasy and roleplay. These are add on services so there is an extra cost involved.

What did you talk to your clients about?

What they have been up to. What I’ve been up to (if they are regulars), what’s going on in their life, what hurdles, etc. are coming up. Homework if I’ve given it. It really depends. Sometimes we lie there in comfortable silence. I am naturally humorous so I may joke around. Dance, crack jokes. It really depends on what company they need in that moment.

Are your clients rude to you?

When I first started some were but the majority were lovely. The few rude ones disappeared the more confident and self assured I got. Now I rarely get them. I find they are like kids. Pull them into line, they stop and become respectful.

In(formation) email.
The reality of being a woman — by the numbers.

address@email.com
What do you do now?

I do sex work. I have done escorting and brothel work. I much prefer brothel work. You receive less per hour but you are not wasting time getting silly phone calls, dealing with timewasters, having to organise a place and line up bookings. I turn up, relax, the clients come to me, I go home. I have retained one private client.

Was being an escort fulfilling, if so, how?

I am a carer. I see the positive affect I have on my clients. I see them grow and become more confident. I love that I can give them a nonjudgemental space to be themselves and explore that person. I love the sex. I love the freedom and travelling business class or other. I love the travel I am able to do. I love how I can help my family. I love the friendships I’ve formed with girls.

Would you have done it again?

Yes. There are sacrifices as well that comes with this job but I wouldn’t change a thing because if I did, it means I wouldn’t have had all the experiences, I wouldn’t have met all the people who have helped me grow and I would not be here sharing this with others or being able to be a voice for others who don’t have one

What was your childhood like?

My parents divorced when I was 18 mths old. He was abusive. I have no memory of that. We moved around a lot due to him trying to track us down. We had a short period of having literally nothing but we still had a fun childhood. I experienced the violent loss of a close friend at 12. And had a few experiences I choose not to share here but these moments are surrounded by a very loving single parent family and an awesome grandpa. Adventures of camping, being rebellious, living near a beach, annoying my big brother and having crushes on his friends. Normal Stuff.

Please note:Do not think that anything from my childhood “made” me do sex work. It didn’t ‘make’ me do sales, or be a public servant or a store manager or any other job I’ve had: nor did it ‘make’ me choose my current career. I choose my experiences and am no one’s victim. It is a common stereotype that is used to discredit and provide reasons not to listen to sex workers on policies that affect us. Please do not disrespect my choices or break my trust by using my past, against me.

What was your socio economic status?

Growing up, lower class. A single parent family is hard.

Currently, middle/upper middle class. Honestly I don’t know. I don’t put much value on material things. Some may see me as upper class, but I’m more a naturally grounded hippy so I’m not comfortable with status or putting people in boxes.

Could you write a simple biography as a response to the question?

I Am Me.